i hide what i need to hide ..

do you know what it feels to be a "PANAKIP BUTAS" ?

well, kung hindi, IT'S PAINFUL. mas lalo na kung talagang seryoso mong minahal ung tao. then somehow, maririnig mo sakanya na mahal pa nya ung XGF nya na para bang wala ka lang para sakanya. 

ansakit noh ... then you'd be there listening to his stories, dreamy eyed. ung feeling na gusto mong umiyak pero hindi mo magawa kasi ayaw mong makita ka nyang umiiyak ?

GOSHNESS .. how heavy that time was. buti na lang kinaya ko yun .. minsan kasi, kelangan mo na lang makinig eh .. kasi wala ka naman talagang karapatan para magreklamo .. hindi naman kayo eh .. wala naman kayong relasyon ..

sometimes, it's better to just let yourself eat your own sufferings .. para naman wala ng maapektuhan .. mabuti ng meh isang masaya, kesa naman parehas kayung nagsasuffer diba ..

hay .. buhay nga naman .. kapag meron ka ng magandang bagay, lahat maaakit .. and ang trabaho mo is was hayaang mawala pa ung bagay na nasayo na .. eh panu naman kung ung bagay na un mismo ang sadyang naakit na ng iba ..

well, wala ka ng magagawa kundi hayaan na lang yun .. kasi IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO ..

haist .. i just wanna see him happy .. knowing how sentimental he is, he will not, EVER NOT, let go of something that important. and somehow, it hurts to say na, WALA KANG PANAMA DUN.

kahit ganu kang kasweet, understanding .. wala pa rin .. he would hold on to something na mas importante kumpara sayo ..

honestly .. siguro, i should blame myself for this .. why ?

kasi .. i told him something before na hindi totoo, though i know it's something na dapat tinago ko from him, i still lied. and now, im facing the consequences.

haist .. sad to say, mas makikilala mo ang ato kung alam mo kung anu ang dapat sabihin .. something that i learned from this experience.

anyway .. i guest some good things are meant to end .. hindi naman kasi pwede na lagi kang meron .. kelangan mo ring mawalan para malaman mo kung ano ba ang dapat na para sayo ..

life is life .. and we simply let it be :)

i will survive .. i've been through worse .. i guess, makakayanan ko rin tong lampasan :)

lots of luck for me .. and heaven'sblessing ..

gudnite for now :)